We are almost a full 3 weeks into our time with Masha. Each new day seems to hold a new adventure for our family. She has adjusted very well to our family life, and now just seems more a part of the family than a guest in the house. The first week was all worry about how hard the communication would be, what would she eat, how would she react to a dad, and most important how would she interact with my girls. All those worries have been put to rest by one resilient little girl. She eats or tries just about anything, communication is still a learning process, she has told me that she loves me much much, and she treats the other three girls in our house like princesses. Four if you include the mutt Tika. We could not have asked for a better fit for our family personality wise. I know others are having some difficulties in hosting, but we have had smooth sailing so far and I am not one to sugar coat anything.(I usually get myself in trouble for being to critical) I know as we progress in the future we have some difficult times ahead, but our story so far could not have been written any better.
Hopefully my Future Family
Nothing crazy has happened in the last couple of days to really give a update. Everyday every one grows a little bit closer, which is going to make "D" day pretty hard. I feel awful that I will not be able to go with Liz to the airport to drop her off. She is going to have to handle 3 pretty upset little girls, and keep her emotions in check at the same time.(This may be impossible as I see tears even over small accomplishments) It is not going to be a fun ride to or from Dallas. I can almost hear the endless amount of questions from my Carley on the way home. I am already saying small prayers for her that it goes as well as can be expected.
Liz and I know in our hearts this could be life changing not only for Masha, but ourselves in a positive way. Our decision has not been without some heart ache though. We have yet to have support from some of the family members that could really make the largest impact. In fact we have not had anything but negative input so far from family that is close. (No Luke and Laura you are not included in the last statement) We have made our decision of what we are going to do, but I will not say it does not make it hard to hear loved ones be as negative as they are at times. What frustrates me most is there are no original arguments that I have not heard already. Most of all I hear is selfishness, laziness, and the inability to think somewhat outside the box. I am also supremely annoyed with the statement why not adopt an American child or the question do you not have loyalty to the USA. My response is I am pretty sure the song I learned in Sunday school when I was 2-3 years old said "Red or Yellow, Black and White they are special in his sight." As you can see it is not all Unicorns and Rainbows for us. I will say a huge thanks to my wife for keeping me in check on this topic. She has really helped me keep some of the things I really want to say at times under control.
Not to end on a completely sour note. We are still waiting to hear if Masha is actually available to adopt. We have heard the lady that receives all this information has just come back from vacation so hopefully we will hear something soon. We are going to go ahead with our full home study very soon, and talk to the Adoption Agency just so we have the ball rolling if the time comes. I also would like to thank Rachael again as this is has been a very eye opening adventure.
Chris, looks like she likes to keep it casual, like you. She's got your back there:) sorry to hear you're receiving so little support from family members that count so much. Going to Ukriane to adopt is not disloyalty! That's hard to hear I'm sure. And anyways, you dont necessarily want to adopt just anyone, you want Masha, and to do so, you'll have to adopt OUTSIDE of the US. I hope it works out but if nothing else, you gave Masha a purpose to succeed in life to a whole new standard. She'll never forget your families kindness and acceptance to her. LOve the family pictures you guys had done. I too have a big mouth, good that Liz keeps you in check. That way you don't wish you could take it back later.
ReplyDeleteLove the family pics.
ReplyDeleteSorry about the lack of support. Just know you have our full support and we are family too!!
Hopefully they will come around in time. I did not get the negativity you are getting when we decided to adopt Katya, but I did not get overwhelming support either. It takes people out of their comfort zone. But as you can see, now I've managed to get several family members hosting...even ones who know about the challenges we have faced with Katya...because they have seen what a precious child she is and what an impact being part of a family has made in her life, and how she is definitely going places in this life. I give her a lot of credit for softening hearts. I bet Masha can do it too...eventually. Hugs, though. Liz told me a little and I know it makes you feel hurt and angry.
Pretty much ditto what Nat said. The family picture is great!! We are getting ours done Sunday, I hope Todd can get away from work to be part if it. With this heat wave we are having he is working harder than ever to keep the plants alive. His days are about like yours but no fun crammed in there, just work.
ReplyDeleteHe has told me that he thinks I am giving Anya the wrong impression of how we live, with all the fun things we (me and the kids) are always doing. Maybe I should explain it like you did with Masha.
Nat, I was trying to keep it casual so Masha would not look out of place, but yes she does like her casual attire. Carley and Masha have vety similar dressing habits. Carley would wear sweat shorts to church if we let her.
ReplyDeleteLori, we have told Masha several times that we are not always quite this fun, and she has experienced my phone rigging off the hook on call. It is sweet though she asks Liz throughout the day what time dad will be home though.
Great post, Chris. I'm so happy for you and your family. Sounds like you couldn't have been a better match. The non-supportive family is disappointing, but I agree that what you are doing makes others feel uncomfortable. Best to gather those close who are cheering you on and leave the others behind. As for me, I'm behind you all a hundred percent!
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful family you would be! We were not able to host a child this time around, but we hosted chaperone Natalia (this is how Liz linked up with me). I am very happy for you all that you have had a great experience with hosting Masha and want to make her a part of your family. We adopted our son internationally 3 years ago and heard many of the same comments. So much of it is just ignorance. People speak without having the knowledge of what the process of adopting a child in our country entails. My question to these people is "Are you bringing a child in need into your home?" One thing that we did see first hand were many miracles happening through our adoption process. Hearts softened, people came together, love of a child overcame any doubt, our story opened minds and made people begin to question their own prejudices. After awhile you just don't care what people think, because you are in love. If this is your path you feel that you must follow, miracles will happen!
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