I Love You Forever, I Like You For Always

    I'll start this blog with a recap of the last couple of days with Masha as always, and then probably end up rambling like a big pile of mush by the end.  Everything has pretty much been status quo the last few days. We are doing so much bike riding every night I thought I would kick it up a notch by upping the pace and distance so we could get in bed by 1000.  It finally worked with me complete wearing her out on a nice 10 mile ride at about a 13mph pace with her on a mountain bike.  It really is not fair due to the fact I ride my TT bike, but she does not know that I am barely working.  We got home and she was zapped.  I did a little victory dance in front of her since she was so worn out and wanted to go in.  It is pretty cute though she has the entire family on their bikes at exactly 8 every night.  We are a fit family, but this getting a small work out together is great.  The love for biking is something Masha and I have in common, so it is some of the better bonding time we have.   I am not really surprised because I learn all kinds of things from my Carley when we go on bike rides together.  Of coarse my Carley talks my head off and Masha just has a huge smile the entire time.  I am pretty sure Liz really enjoys the rides as well other than the bike she is riding has one of my Racing Seats on it.  I am pretty sure she is sore every night after riding it.

Girl Biker Gang

     The girls went to spend the night at their best friends in Tulsa today, so Liz, Masha, and I had a whole day with nothing planned.  Liz and I are not good stay at home people so we decided to just get in the car and drive.  As things came to our mind we stopped to have fun.  We even got some things done that have been near impossible that last couple weeks. Jacket check,  a few every day clothes check, Masha to completely come out of her shell day check.   I am not sure when it happened, but after we got home from Go Cart driving Liz and Masha got on the computer and started talking about all the kids she knows that are hosted from her orphanage, the director of her orphanage, and her family.  Before I knew it there is full on out of control laughter in the house.   It went on for a solid 2 hours.  Something changed in that 2 hours. I am not sure if she got to say and talk about things she was holding back or she finally let down her guard, but she was completely relaxed the rest of the day. I could tell it made her feel good to share things about her home.   I will give all the credit to my wife, she really is like the Billy Joel song  "She's Got A Way." (Some reading this may not be old enough to know that song) At about 7pm we are sitting in the house bored with nothing to do, and decide lets go to Frontier City.   Masha said no to a theme parks, but we just figured she did not know what she was missing.  We loaded up the car and got a solid 3 hours in.  There was a concert there so the rides were pretty empty.  I can not tell you how big the excitement was after her first roller coaster.  I think she basically drug us all over the rest of the park like a kid in a candy store.  The only bummer of the evening is we got stuck on the log ride and it cut our evening a little shorter than the two big girls wanted.  I just hope when she wakes up tomorrow we take off where we left off last night.

If you going to learn to drive it might as well be going fast.

First Roller Coaster Ever

Soaking Wet After Water Ride

     Now for the best part of the day and maybe the hardest part since there are so many unknowns right now.  On the way home we were telling Masha how blessed we have been to get to have for the summer, and how good it has been for our family.   She asked for the phone to translate something.  I really just thought it would be a thank you or about what a great time she is having.  Instead she said,  "I Love You both Very Very Much."  This is the first time she has expressed her feelings at all towards Liz and I like this.  I also know she can say I Love You verbally in English, because she says it to Keira and Carley every night.  Maybe she put it in the translator so she could add the very part or maybe typed is easier to say without becoming emotional.  I am not really sure, but for me at least it was an Epic moment. Lori our Cousin had just asked me if she has shared anything like this, and two days later there it is.  The hard part about all this is we have been waiting to hear if it is even possible to bring her back for adoption(I Hate that Word "Adoption" by the Way).  We get told a date and then it gets pushed back or we do not hear anything at all.   I am not really complaining since I know it is out of anyones control, but it is hard and I am pretty sure it is going to get much harder. The entire process just for lack of a better word sucks ***.   I know my cousin Rachael is feeling very much like us with this, so at least I am not alone in my impatience. I update our email every 5 minutes hoping to get a email saying yes or no.  A thousand pounds would be lifted off of me if I could find out either way.  We also know now that she would love to come here now.  Knowing that Masha Loves our family and would love to live here even though in separate conversations I am pretty sure what her answer would be about becoming a permanent part of our family.  

     I'll be honest I did not realize how difficult this would actually be when we signed up to do this, but this is much much harder on me than I thought it would be.  As you can see I am up at 2 am typing about this because my brain just will not shut down.  I never thought in a few short weeks that I of all people could become this emotionally vested in a child that is not my own biologically.  The last statement makes more sense if you know more about my families experience with adoption growing up.  I know I am terrible about not being in control of a situation, but I am definitely in the back seat on this one.  Hopefully someone with some intelligence and empathy will take the wheel soon and help guide us where we need to be. Ending with that, I think I have my prayer for the night. 

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