You Can Tell by Everyones Tears that We Will Remember It All

     I am not really sure where to even begin this entry as today was far from an easy day.  Today was my last bit of time with Masha.  The girls are headed down to Dallas to take Masha to the airport early in the morning.  It has taken until about now for me to collect some of my thoughts and be able to write down anything.   I am usually a pro at keeping it together in front of people and not showing emotions. Today was not the case I completely lost my composure.   This good bye was especially difficult due to the possibility that it could be a real good bye.  A good bye where you do not see the person again, and in this case we are knowingly sending her back to an awful place.  Yes, we knew this was going to happen, and we knew it would be hard.  What I did not count on was how much we as a family we would fall in love with Masha, including myself.  The best way I can describe it is, she just fits.  She is an exceptional girl that deserves so much more. This experience exceeded anything in my wildest dreams.  I never thought a stranger could come in my house and in five weeks work her way into my heart.  That is how special this little girl is.  I hope to one day pay back the favor she gave to us. She has changed my heart for the better.
    Now it is time to move on to the next step.  Getting Masha Back!   We have started most of the paperwork before she got here, but stopped due to our skepticism or lack of faith I am not sure.  I would like to say that it was healthy cautiousness.  Now we are going to try to make up for lost time.  We are just 2 visits and a check away from our home study being done.  From there I have no idea what to expect.  I am sure once the home study is complete and we know that Masha is available we will know much more about the process.  We do know just enough to know this will not be an easy road.  We have heard everything from nightmare stories about things being drug out for months to stories of things going off without a hitch.  We are hoping that having everything ready from the beginning will help things go smoothly. Until then we will save as much money as possible, and pray that everything works out for the best. (We have heard it may be possible to get her back home by Christmas. I pray this is true.)
  Our last few days were beyond great with Masha.  We have packed as much quality time as we could in 3 days. We drove sports cars, rode roller coasters, went to the movies, and almost pulled an all nighter laughing at each others inability to communicate beyond 5 words on the translator.  Tomorrow I head back to work while Masha gets on a plane back to the Ukraine.    There was so much more I wanted to say to her, but could not. It was heart breaking to let her go without any reassurance. Due to the rules of this program we are not able to discuss adoption.  The most I could I do is tell her we hope to see her again, we love her, and that we will do our best to stay in contact.  If there is one down side to the program that is it. I could go into detail, but that policy is for the best for all involved. I will say I wish I was a special exception, but we are not.  There is so much more I want to say so maybe in another blog. Right now I would like to let the pictures speak for themselves.

She definitely Fits in with the Sisters

One of My Few Pictures

She felt like posing

Test Drive Day

Express Clydesdales 

Two Amazing Girls

Favorite Ride at the Park

Repeat of Picture

Playing with Camera

"There are no good-byes, Where ever we are, You’ll always be in my heart".

     The last days are starting to be more difficult as we prepare to send Masha back to the Ukraine. The preparations to send her home are very saddening. As we shop for things all our kids have without even thinking about we know it is possible that we may not see this little girl again. It is evident everyone in the house is feeling this pressure. I had to walk away from something as simple as buying a hand towel to send back with her. Every small task we do like this brings us closer to her leaving still not knowing what the future holds. We can only hope and have faith that things turn out the best for all that are involved.
      We have seen our first strong emotions from Masha and almost a sense of panic. I had not discussed that I would not be able to take her to the airport, so when we got a couple of quiet seconds where we could I took the opportunity. I really thought it would go uneventful and was I wrong. As soon as I started the conversation she got tears in her eyes and the more I tried to console her the worse it got until we had some full blown tears. I felt terrible and helpless at the same time. I did not expect this reaction just about me. It took us a couple of hours to recover, but the rest of the day got better with some shoe shopping therapy. We have also noticed an urgency from her to get things done. She is especially worried about getting pictures with everyone. She asks Liz daily when she will print them all. Our other moment was today at tennis with the help of our tennis coach translating some last minute stuff for us. Liz, Masha, and Marina all had tears in their eyes. It got a lot more than I think Masha wanted to handle so she took the girls and headed off to the car. I know what she is feeling cause I hid in the corner to avoid any real eye contact or might have lost it as well. She has got tears in her eyes several times today. Not real crying, but I can tell she is looking at Carley and Keira already feeling very sad.  She even had a period of the day when she shut down completely to us.  I could never get her tell me what was wrong, but with some time at home and some encouragement from Liz she was back to herself.  I wish I knew what to do for her, but I am not even very good at it when my little girls cry. I want so much to pick her up like I would my girls pat her on the back and tell her I will make everything better. The problem with that is so much is out of my control I may not be able to make things better.  We all just reassure her that she is special to us and will always be loved by our family.
      I only have a measly 3 days left with Masha before the girls head down to Dallas.   I did not know how much this experience would impact my views on life so much after doing it.   I would not say it has been so much eye opening as much as I will say it has been a heart opening.   I will not pretend that Masha is part of my heart as much as my two little girls currently are, but she has taken up residency in part of it and I love her very much.  I am sure over time that bond will grow even more so even though I know it will be roller coaster at times.  I also think nah sayers will come around as well as the get to know Masha.  The one thing I am confident our family has enough of for Masha is love, and I think some one said once, "All You Need is Love."

Entering the Final Week

     We have a mere seven days left of our time with Masha on this trip.  She has very much squeezed her way into hearts in the last weeks.  As each new day goes by everyone becomes more and more comfortable with each other.  Russian from my girls and English from Masha is starting become common place.  Masha barely spoke at all the first 2 weeks, but now we get to hear her voice non stop.  She is attempting to string together sentences with true meaning now(Not in front of strangers).  A lot is still communicated non-verbally and through single words, but we have done very little to work on English other than flash cards, alphabet, and listening to some downloaded files.  With some real structured teaching time and a real teacher I believe she will be able to learn very quickly as she can already spell small words through phonics.  She definitely pronounce our words much better than I can even attempt to say letters in her alphabet.  I feel comfortable that if we bring her here and find the right people her transition to school will be easily possible.  I am not saying it will not be challenging, but I know we have one smart little girl on our hands.

Part of the New Horizon"s Program. Masha Liked the Quote

     I am going to try to get everyone to keep it easy this last week with her, but if you know my house that is definitely not going to happen.  The girls already have at least 3 days of activities they want to do with her before she leaves.  More than likely I will give into what ever they want to do because their intentions are pure.  I know I talk each blog about my girls and Masha, but for me their relationship is the most important.  I believe a sibling is the person you will know longer than anyone else in life, so your relationship with them can make a huge difference in how you face the world.  We spent the entire day at home yesterday, and the girls stayed upstairs and entertained each other all day.  I thought it was because of video games, but when I went up there the controllers were all laid down and they were playing a made up game of hiding a golf club. I was itching to get out of the house, but seeing the amount of laughing and made up play we stayed home.  I continue to be amazed at how a 15 year old enjoys playing so much with my girls.  I wonder sometimes if she is being more like a babysitter, but then she initiates all the games so I think not.  Every time I ask if she need a break she answers instantly no.  Whatever she does or does not feel for Liz and I is made up for the love she shows both my girls(Pretty sure she thinks Liz is pretty amazing as well).

Masha is starting to want pictures with Everyone

     Now for the dad part. I know I have said before I went into this expecting very little.  I knew that Liz and the girls would be an instant hit and make her transition much easier and they definitely have.  I really thought she would not be comfortable at all with me for awhile, and surely not on this trip.  Even though I tried hard it took almost 2 weeks before she even referred to me as anything.  At that time I was beginning to think I was going to be right, and I was really Okay with it.  Plus, I was not quite sure how to interact with a 15 year old anyway.  Little girl easy, preteens and teenage girls with hormones scare the Hell out of me.  The last 1.5 weeks have put all those thoughts behind me.  She pretty much enjoys everything my girls enjoy so far, just spending time with dad.   After all dad is all fun in this house anyway as long as everyone is quiet in the car while I am driving.  Although nothing like the relationship she has with the girls in my house it is so much more than I expected.  I will say the daddy daughter time with all the girls the other night helped immensely.  She at least comes to me now 25 percent of the time for help. 

    Update time:  We have learned nothing else new other than all the names have been actually submitted for availability.  Even if we can not have her forever and always we would still like to bring her back for Christmas.  Last night she made it evident she wants to stay in one comment.  We were going over our usually likes and dislikes conversation for weekly report. She always says she loves everything.  This week very loudly when we asked what she did not like she said, "Ukraine."  It was touching and sad all at the same time.  I would love to think it is because what an amazing family we have, but I think anything here is such an improvement over her current situation that would be her only answer regardless.  More to come in the next few days as our time is coming to end with her for the summer, but hopefully this is only the beginning.

Christopher.

You Change Your Life by Changing Your Heart

     The last few days have not been very eventful in our house.   The 3 girls in the house act very much like sisters now.  I keep waiting for an annoyed 15 year old attitude, but it never comes.  Keira and Carley are attached to her at all times with  Keira in her lap and Carley on the translator.  Carley has resumed her role as big sister even though Masha is 8 years older.  Carley has tried very hard to learn Russian and teach Masha as much English as possible.  Carley acts like mother hen almost babying Masha like she is Keira's age.  I see a lot of Liz in Carley when I see her interactions with Masha.  It always puts a huge smile on my face to see a mini Liz(If she has the half the heart as her mom I have zero worries for her).  Keira on the other hand treats her like the "greatest playmate ever."   Masha and Keira have really hit it off.  Mostly due to the fact Keira never wants to come inside and Masha is right there with her.  They would both stay outside riding bikes until they wore the tires off the bikes.  I am really not looking forward to the heart ache of her leaving.  Keira will recovery fast, but Carley will take it hard I am sure.

    Last night was a special night for me as Liz went out for girls night and I had all 3 girls to myself.  It is really a rare occasion that I get them to myself for 8 hours.  Carley and Keira both spent the first 3 hours of the evening at gymnastics, so Masha and I did the things I do not really see Liz doing with her.  First stop was by the bike shop to let her get googly eyed over all the pretty bikes.  I know some might think it is mean, but I personally go in all the time and look at my dream bike that I will never purchase.  Plus, it gave me ideas for what she likes once we bring her back permanently.  Next it was on to car shopping one of my favorite past times.   If the salesman would not have talked so much we were about to get in a brand new Z51 Vette and take it for a spin.  Unfortunately we ran out of time and I had to get the girls at gymnastics. He gave me his card and said comeback anytime, so hopefully I will fit in a ride in some American Muscle before she leaves (Of Coarse she Picked the bright Yellow one).

     We got home that night at bed time for my girls, so it was bath and sleep for them right after dinner.  This was nice because it was the first time I have gotten any quality time myself with Masha.   I will say it is strange to sit in the living room and communicate with someone and the room is dead silent.  I turned on the T.V. just because it was to quiet for me.  We had a nice conversation through Google Translate about her experience here, her home, friends, and family.  She smiled the entire time she talked about our family to me and was laughing a good portion of the time.  It felt very much like my runs or bike rides with Carley.  I was getting a view into the real Masha that guards her self so well.  I am left out on most of what she likes about being here, but she rarely says anything about an experience without including how great Liz, Carley, and Keira made it.    We stayed up until about 1230 that night chatting and laughing.  Maybe the best part of the night was about 1100.  Liz still was not home and Masha typed in that she was worried that Mama was not home and would like me to call and check on her.  I asked her if she wanted her to come home, and she said no just wanted to make sure she was OK.  Liz came in the door shortly after to Masha's relief.  As soon as Liz walks in Masha leaves my side to go sit in a chair under a blanket with Liz. I enjoy seeing how much Masha adores Liz, but I was disappointed that my dad night was over with her and my girls.  As much time as I spend at work I really cherish the alone time I get.

    A quick update on our news from across the pond.  Guess what? We still do not know anything about Masha's availability.   Honestly I really do not expect to find out anything until well after she goes back so I am not overly surprised.   I guess I am getting a lesson in patience which is not one of my virtues. Since it is taking so long I keep waiting to get second thoughts or come up with a real negative so far it has yet to happen.  We are going into our last full week with Masha.  I have taken the week off, so hopefully we can send her off with a bang.

No Rest For the Weary

  
     We are almost a full 3 weeks into our time with Masha.  Each new day seems to hold a new adventure for our family.  She has adjusted very well to our family life, and now just seems more a part of the family than a guest in the house.  The first week was all worry about how hard the communication would be, what would she eat, how would she react to a dad, and most important how would she interact with my girls.  All those worries have been put to rest by one resilient little girl.   She eats or tries just about anything, communication is still a learning process, she has told me that she loves me much much, and she treats the other three girls in our house like princesses.  Four if you include the mutt Tika.  We could not have asked for a better fit for our family personality wise.  I know others are having some difficulties in hosting, but we have had smooth sailing so far and I am not one to sugar coat anything.(I usually get myself in trouble for being to critical)   I know as we progress in the future we have some difficult times ahead, but our story so far could not have been written any better.

Hopefully my Future Family

     Now on to the no rest part.  We have explained to Masha that we are usually not so busy with fun activities, but while she is here we are going to treat like a vacation for us as well.  As I say that my girls including my wife are taking full advantage of that statement.  Just in the last 3 days we have spent over 8 hours at a theme park, 12 hours swimming, 9 hours biking, and  trips for Ice Cream and Snow Cones on multiple occasions.  I have not slept in past 5:30- 6:30 since she has been here, and have not actually been asleep before midnight.   In the middle of that all I have been going to work unfortunately.    It is my fault for wanting to make the most out of our time with Masha, but I may need a vacation from my vacation pretty soon.  I may sound like I am complaining, but really I love every minute of it.  I just want to put it out there for people who may host in the future.  It really is exhausting in a good rewarding type of way.   

     Nothing crazy has happened in the last couple of days to really give a update.  Everyday every one grows a little bit closer, which is going to make "D" day pretty hard.   I feel awful that I will not be able to go with Liz to the airport to drop her off. She is going to have to handle 3 pretty upset little girls, and keep her emotions in check at the same time.(This may be impossible as I see tears even over small accomplishments)   It is not going to be a fun ride to or from Dallas.  I can almost hear the endless amount of questions from my Carley on the way home.  I am already saying small prayers for her that it goes as well as can be expected.
      Liz and I know in our hearts this could be life changing not only for Masha, but ourselves in a positive way.   Our decision has not been without some heart ache though.  We have yet to have support from some of the family members that could really make the largest impact.  In fact we have not had anything but negative input so far from family that is close.  (No Luke and Laura you are not included in the last statement)  We have made our decision of what we are going to do, but I will not say it does not make it hard to hear loved ones be as negative as they are at times.  What frustrates me most is there are no original arguments that I have not heard already.   Most of all I hear is selfishness, laziness, and the inability to think somewhat outside the box.  I am also supremely annoyed with the statement why not adopt an American child or the question do you not have loyalty to the USA.  My response is I am pretty sure the song I learned in Sunday school when I  was 2-3 years old said "Red or Yellow, Black and White they are special in his sight."    As you can see it is not all Unicorns and Rainbows for us. I will say a huge thanks to my wife for keeping me in check on this topic.  She has really helped me keep some of the things I really want to say at times under control.
     Not to end on a completely sour note.  We are still waiting to hear if Masha is actually available to adopt. We have heard the lady that receives all this information has just come back from vacation so hopefully we will hear something soon.  We are going to go ahead with our full home study very soon, and talk to the Adoption Agency just so we have the ball rolling if the time comes. I also would like to thank Rachael again as this is has been a very eye opening adventure.

I Love You Forever, I Like You For Always

    I'll start this blog with a recap of the last couple of days with Masha as always, and then probably end up rambling like a big pile of mush by the end.  Everything has pretty much been status quo the last few days. We are doing so much bike riding every night I thought I would kick it up a notch by upping the pace and distance so we could get in bed by 1000.  It finally worked with me complete wearing her out on a nice 10 mile ride at about a 13mph pace with her on a mountain bike.  It really is not fair due to the fact I ride my TT bike, but she does not know that I am barely working.  We got home and she was zapped.  I did a little victory dance in front of her since she was so worn out and wanted to go in.  It is pretty cute though she has the entire family on their bikes at exactly 8 every night.  We are a fit family, but this getting a small work out together is great.  The love for biking is something Masha and I have in common, so it is some of the better bonding time we have.   I am not really surprised because I learn all kinds of things from my Carley when we go on bike rides together.  Of coarse my Carley talks my head off and Masha just has a huge smile the entire time.  I am pretty sure Liz really enjoys the rides as well other than the bike she is riding has one of my Racing Seats on it.  I am pretty sure she is sore every night after riding it.

Girl Biker Gang

     The girls went to spend the night at their best friends in Tulsa today, so Liz, Masha, and I had a whole day with nothing planned.  Liz and I are not good stay at home people so we decided to just get in the car and drive.  As things came to our mind we stopped to have fun.  We even got some things done that have been near impossible that last couple weeks. Jacket check,  a few every day clothes check, Masha to completely come out of her shell day check.   I am not sure when it happened, but after we got home from Go Cart driving Liz and Masha got on the computer and started talking about all the kids she knows that are hosted from her orphanage, the director of her orphanage, and her family.  Before I knew it there is full on out of control laughter in the house.   It went on for a solid 2 hours.  Something changed in that 2 hours. I am not sure if she got to say and talk about things she was holding back or she finally let down her guard, but she was completely relaxed the rest of the day. I could tell it made her feel good to share things about her home.   I will give all the credit to my wife, she really is like the Billy Joel song  "She's Got A Way." (Some reading this may not be old enough to know that song) At about 7pm we are sitting in the house bored with nothing to do, and decide lets go to Frontier City.   Masha said no to a theme parks, but we just figured she did not know what she was missing.  We loaded up the car and got a solid 3 hours in.  There was a concert there so the rides were pretty empty.  I can not tell you how big the excitement was after her first roller coaster.  I think she basically drug us all over the rest of the park like a kid in a candy store.  The only bummer of the evening is we got stuck on the log ride and it cut our evening a little shorter than the two big girls wanted.  I just hope when she wakes up tomorrow we take off where we left off last night.

If you going to learn to drive it might as well be going fast.

First Roller Coaster Ever

Soaking Wet After Water Ride

     Now for the best part of the day and maybe the hardest part since there are so many unknowns right now.  On the way home we were telling Masha how blessed we have been to get to have for the summer, and how good it has been for our family.   She asked for the phone to translate something.  I really just thought it would be a thank you or about what a great time she is having.  Instead she said,  "I Love You both Very Very Much."  This is the first time she has expressed her feelings at all towards Liz and I like this.  I also know she can say I Love You verbally in English, because she says it to Keira and Carley every night.  Maybe she put it in the translator so she could add the very part or maybe typed is easier to say without becoming emotional.  I am not really sure, but for me at least it was an Epic moment. Lori our Cousin had just asked me if she has shared anything like this, and two days later there it is.  The hard part about all this is we have been waiting to hear if it is even possible to bring her back for adoption(I Hate that Word "Adoption" by the Way).  We get told a date and then it gets pushed back or we do not hear anything at all.   I am not really complaining since I know it is out of anyones control, but it is hard and I am pretty sure it is going to get much harder. The entire process just for lack of a better word sucks ***.   I know my cousin Rachael is feeling very much like us with this, so at least I am not alone in my impatience. I update our email every 5 minutes hoping to get a email saying yes or no.  A thousand pounds would be lifted off of me if I could find out either way.  We also know now that she would love to come here now.  Knowing that Masha Loves our family and would love to live here even though in separate conversations I am pretty sure what her answer would be about becoming a permanent part of our family.  

     I'll be honest I did not realize how difficult this would actually be when we signed up to do this, but this is much much harder on me than I thought it would be.  As you can see I am up at 2 am typing about this because my brain just will not shut down.  I never thought in a few short weeks that I of all people could become this emotionally vested in a child that is not my own biologically.  The last statement makes more sense if you know more about my families experience with adoption growing up.  I know I am terrible about not being in control of a situation, but I am definitely in the back seat on this one.  Hopefully someone with some intelligence and empathy will take the wheel soon and help guide us where we need to be. Ending with that, I think I have my prayer for the night. 

Full Disclosure "No Hosting Rules Have Been Broken"  

We Have One Smart Cookie

     Another day started with Doctor appointments.   This morning we headed to the eye doctor.  On our way there Liz and I were discussing how Masha was going to take a true eye test if she could not read our letters, for Masha it was not problem.   We have not worked on our alphabet at all with Masha to this point, so 15 minutes before we go into the exam room Liz breaks out the Ipad to see how many letters we could memorize.  Astonishingly she some how got through the entire list in that time and had them down pat.   I still had little hope she could remember all the letter for the exam once sitting for 20 more minutes waiting.   The Exam begins and the only thing she got wrong was confusing C and S.  This may not appear to be an accomplishment to some, but memorizing 26 new characters in 15 minutes then regurgitating them out of order after 20-30 minutes of not looking at them is impressive.  Especially with the anxiety she has to have now for going to the Doctor after the Dentist appointment.  She ended up having average vision with a small amount of far sighted issues.  The optometrist felt that there was no need for glasses at that point.  We felt relieved there was finally some good news for Masha.  I know she needed it after Monday.
     I will say at this point I am pretty tired as we are not getting to bed till 12-1230, and I get up at 530.  I do not get near as much time with her as my girls so every night we ride bikes till about 10pm.  Liz gets a lot more verbal communication out of her than I, but I do get lots of smiles and giggles on our 3 hours of biking every evening. We have to be averaging 15 to 20 miles a night.  The girl loves riding bikes, and never wants to come in.  We are thinking about making the family bike ride we do every evening a staple in our house even when she goes back.  Of coarse we will come in much earlier for bed time. As soon as I get a short day at work I am going to take her on a real bike ride to see how she likes it so she'll be stuck we me for about 1.5 hours. It is my master plan to get some quality quiet time with her.  It is difficult with all the girls in the house to get any real quaility time. 
     Masha and Liz got some more girl time on Wednesday while I took the girls to gymnastics.  Masha has really started to open up to Liz, which is very sweet.   Masha talked with Liz about herself and her family without Liz asking anything.   Liz learned today that she never knew her mother, lost her father to alcohol when she was 5, and still sees her brother, grandmother, and grandfather pretty regularly.   All this without asking a single question.   We both love that she wants to talk about her family, and both feel that it is great if she can have a life with them.   On the other side of things it makes this process very difficult.  We have yet to find out if Masha is available to bring into our family or not.  We know this is not a efficient process, but it would really ease our minds (Not Our Heart) if we knew one way or another.   I know there will be some broken hearts in the family if we can not bring her home someday.   Liz also found out on yesterday that Masha never dreamed that she could be part of a family like ours, and would miss us more than anything when she had to leave. Masha also said she always wanted a sister, but now she has two amazing sisters. She mentions her love for Keira and Carley almost nonstop.   I got this message while I was in the operating room.  It was everything I could do to fight back a lone tear.  I am not sure if was due to the saddness and hardships Masha has to endure or selfish happiness on my part due to the fact she really feels that strongly about our family.  Maybe it is a little bit of both.  Just know this little girl has our heart.  If some of the guys out there think I am a big softy this will easily get to you much more than watching The Champ, Cowboys, My Life, and Old Yeller back to back.  It touches all emotions at once, and there is really no way to discribe it until you experience the gift these children are.  It has made me appreciate everyone and everything in my life much more deeply.  It has even changed how I pray at night for my family as I go to sleep.

I apologize now for all the mistakes in this Blog as half of it was written really late, and the other half was written in between cases in the O.R.

A Tough Day For Masha

    The day started pretty rough for Masha today, it started at the dentist office.  It was a rather painful experience for her with some not so great news.  Our dentist felt that it was definitely the only time she had ever seen the dentist.   The tartar build up and gum disease was so bad she will have to go back 2 more times before she leaves to just finish the cleaning.  She is also using a special peroxide/antibiotic mouth wash to help with her gum disease, which was the cause of some very easy bleeding.  Not only was the dentist chair a torture chamber for her even with a local anesthetic we found out more poor news for her.  She has 3 cavities and one tooth that is in need of a Root Canal.   So over all it looks like we have a few more trips to the dentists in the next three weeks.  My girls held her hand the entire time.  Liz said she saw a few tears roll down her cheeks before it was all over.  Not such a good start to her day.  

     The day did improve though.  Since, I was on call for Liz and I's anniversary we called a photographer to do pictures of everyone in the family including Masha, and made reservations at one of the nicer restaurants close to us.  Pictures went well with it taking some goofy antics from dad to get good smiles from Masha, but she loosened and started to go with the flow.  Right after pictures to dinner we went all dressed up as much as you want to be in 100 degree heat.  We did attempt to get Masha to wear a dress and got a big Nyet.  I asked her what she liked to wear most,  her response was shorts or sweat pants.  So jeans and a nice shirt were an accomplishment.  While at dinner we all were making small talk. Liz asked Masha if she had any idea what she wanted to be when she grew up.   I was surprised with her response when she said Nurse.   I knew our cousin Lori's translator read nurse when actually she wanted to be a doctor so I clarified it.  She wants to be a Nurse(Medestra)!   This actually made me pretty excited so I asked her if she would like to go on a tour of the hospital.  She gave a fairly enthusiastic yes.   I walked her through every area introducing her to every type of nurse(Medestra).  She is like every other girl thinking about being a nurse. She loves the babies.   I took her into our small NICU and she got to hold a 3.5lb baby girl.  The smile on her face could not have been bigger.
     Not much else has really gone on in the last couple of days.  I can tell the girl bonding in the house is getting pretty tight.  I know when August 1st comes around there are going to be some big alligator tears at least out of my girls. I'm sure even some out of me at this point.  I will miss so much already when she has to go back.  I will never look at riding a bike, a hotdog, and Mac&Cheese the same way. If we get her back permanently someday I will have a bike waiting for her as we walk out of the airport.  I also will never pronounce my youngest daughters name correct again after Masha leaves, because the way she says it is so cute.  I know for sure this little girl has a chance to be something, I just hope we get the opportunity to help her become that something.  If she really wants to be a nurse someday she could not be in a better home to help her get there.   I personally am not a person that believes that things are meant to be for a reason due to the fact it completely undermines free will, but this sure seems like someone is giving us a little nudge in a certain direction.



Just a little side note. I was through typing this and went up to give everyone their good nights, and Masha was on the Ipad working on spelling small words in English on her own.  Now I am quite impressed.

Another Few Days of Firsts

     We have had another busy couple of days with Masha being part of our family.  Everyday we see a little more of who Masha is, and we see her becoming more comfortable with us.  We had several more first time experiences for Mash the last few days.  Thursday we set up a tennis lesson with our girls tennis coach.  I was expecting very little, because anyone that has played tennis or baseball know that the hardest thing to do in all sports is hit a little small moving ball.  Masha however was all over it.  Of coarse Marina was laying everything right there, but I have seen several kids that have been to several lesson miss more than half the balls. Masha maybe had 10 behind after an entire grocery basket of balls was hit to her.  I have started to see a competitive side come out of her too as everything she does she wants to do well.  She even attempts to race me on the bicycle.  She did not smile hardly at all during the entire lesson. It was all concentration and business.  I was worried she did not have fun, but when she came out she immediately asked if she would be allowed to go again.  I had only one answer for that, Yes.

     Next we were on to another first.   We were discussing in the car what each of the girls favorite animal was.  All three decided they all loved horses the most.   Being that I work out in a rural area most of the people I work with are serious rodeo people and own horses.   Masha was very excited at first to know that we were going to ride horses, but once we got there she was very intimidated by them.   It really took some motherly coaxing from Liz to get her up on the horse.  She road one time, but was very content to stand and pet them the rest of the time.   My girls on the other hand road for about an hour and were in heaven in 108 degree heat.   My Carley swears she is going to be veterinarian when she grows up so she can care for horses.  Still a good experience just not quite what I think Masha had in mind.  While we were there though Masha got to pet a goat and some blue heeler pups, which may have been the biggest hit. If Liz was not so anti dog I would have brought one of the pups home.  I already have a name "SoBaka." None of the girls wanted to leave I think all three of them would be happy to live on a farm. That will never happen though cause dad is a clueless city boy.

     Now for the sappy  Dad part.  Masha and I have had some really nice bonding time, but she has not really used a name for me or been very open to a hug good night.  She trusts me with all things dads are suppose to do; swimming lessons, bike riding lessons, driving sea doos, or driving the golf cart.  This has been about it.  Two nights ago though she started to call me dad on her own accord.  It felt good to finally have some sort of name from her.   I understand her reluctance, but it was a big deal for me probably more so than her. (Early on I told her she could call me Chris or if easier just Dad, I was against papa as that is what we use for the girls grandpa Dennis)  She also in the same night looked for me to give me a huge hug good night.  She actually said, "Good Night Dad," in English.  It was the first time she actually embraced me.  Before that it was me giving a hug and her standing there.  I returned the hug with a kiss on the forehead and a thank you.  Another melting moment for me was last night.  I had a pretty long day of call and did not get home till after 9.  Liz told me Masha came to her several times to ask when dad was coming home.  As soon as I walked in the door she asked if I was ready to go for a bike ride.  I rarely tell my girls no when it comes to spending time with me, so off I went with Masha on the bike at 930 in the evening.  It has been a very heart warming week for all of us.

     I think now we are at the point that we are just waiting to know if it is possible to adopt Masha.  We are pretty much ready to proceed forward, but need to know this bit of information first.   It has been only a little over a week, but both Liz and I both feel we have a grasp of who and what Masha is about.  We know there is a lot more to learn about her and even more walls to break down, but if anyone can do it Liz my incredible wife can. 

    Have to go for now as I am in the process of making some "Morozhenee" ice cream, and the maker just cut off. 

  

One Week In and Loving It

     I was not going to blog today, but we continue to have great days with Masha.  Just when I think we will hit a plateau she really takes it up notch.  Liz really is not having super formal English lessons, but more incorporates English lessons in during important parts of the day.  This strategy appears to be working very good for Masha.   I have heard more English in my short day home with her than her entire time here combined including the English lesson time.  It is quite encouraging to see her really trying to work things out herself.  I will give it to Liz she is a master of positive reinforcement.  Masha also plays with both my girls non stop. So far I have not seen one annoying look, action. or sneer in the girls direction.  In fact Keira has been in heaven, because Masha likes to be out side just as much as her.   I have not seen the bikes in our garage get this much use in the entire time we have owned them.   Masha learned just two days ago and is now all over our small neighborhood.  Carley our oldest is much more reserved,  she sometimes gets left out if someone does not go out of their way to get her involved.   I actually saw Masha notice that today and make sure to include Carley in what was going on.  This may be one of the most impressive personality traits I have seen to date.   I could really tell that Carley needed it as Keira really is a Masha hog.  Masha is also starting to smile all day.  Liz and I love it.  She has such a beautiful smile it really does brighten the house up.  I was worried by her description and our first two days with her that we would have a recluse that just stayed up in her bedroom.   All those worries have completely been put to rest as she is always in what ever room the family is in.   She is really making her spot in our home.
     The one thing we do not get from Masha is what she is feeling inside about us as a family or her experience.  I am sure every person out there hosting would love to know this same thing.  Well we found out some of what is going on inside her head today.   Liz and I thought she may really be missing home as she talks about her Grandmother and Brother quite a bit.  She has even told us a couple of times she misses home, which we both find completely understandable.  We have also discussed that we both felt that she would not be interested in becoming part of our family just from her discussions about her family in Ukraine.   Today we found out in an indirect way that she is loving her time here with us, and leaving for her is going to be very difficult.  Also, that she will miss us as soon as she has to leave.  We could have found out much more, but we felt that it would have been an invasion of her privacy.      Hopefully some day she will share those feelings with us directly.  

Back to Reality

     Unfortunately I had to go back to reality today and go to work.    It did sound like I missed good day.  The girls were both excited that Masha said their name directly, they got to swim for several hours, and Liz got some more one on one bonding time.  I got home to an even more relaxed Masha. She is not blazing a trail with English, but she is starting to try it out on things she is confident in.   She is similar to a little duckling as she mirrors everything Liz does. If Liz showers, brushes her teeth, or changes Masha will do the same.   Dinner was at Outback since she loves Mac & Cheese, but she ate 3 bites and said she liked Liz's out of the box Shell Mac & Cheese.   As soon as we got home from dinner she went straight out side to ride the bike.  The only real parenting thing that we have had to do is have her come back in and change into more appropriate play clothes.  Even though she is quiet and shy, she definitely likes to be outside as we spend every evening outside till well after dark the last few days.  I thought our ridiculous heat would discourage a lot of out door activities, but it does not seem to bother her.   She practiced bike riding for a couple of hours than sat on the curb with some of the neighborhood girls and chatted with the translator.  Masha, Carley, Keira, and several of the neighbor girls convinced Liz to have a sleep over.  Right now we have 6 or 7 (I lost count some where in there) little girls up stairs playing musical chairs right above my room.  I am amazed how girls ranging from ages 5 to 15 can all play together.  We are very lucky to have a group of really good girls that surround our house.
     Really nothing epic to report today.  She did speak to her chaperone for 15 minutes and was laughing the entire time giving very animated responses.  She also decided after seeing Keira play tennis today she would try it out with our Russian tennis coach next time they go.  Things appear to be getting easier a little bit every day.  Now we just sit back and see how things play out.   We plan on enjoying everyday with her as much as possible.  If everything goes as I would love for it to we may just add another little girl to the house hold.  My mom told me once I would have all girls.  I am not sure this is exactly what she would have had in mind, but I know she would have love it.  

Independence Day a Good Day to let Freedom Ring

     There seems to be so much to write everyday, but with my head spinning most the time with all the excitement it is hard to put down anything in nice coherent sentences.  We started the day off with the mission to finish all the shopping we had left to do for Masha on the list.   Shoes, socks, unmentionables, and a little more everyday clothing.  I asked her if she was tired of all the shopping, and like all girls answered with a big no.   She fits in fine with our family though as even when we have no idea what we are looking at we always pick the most expensive.  She definitely has the art for that down.   I know some have said they want specific brands, but these are brands I am sure she has no idea about.   I give her very good marks for good taste though.  We accomplished most of what we set out to get today, and can fill in the rest with our weekly Target shopping trips.
     Liz and Masha spent the second part of the day upstairs making up games to play with English and Russian. There must have been some good bonding time going on because when they came down Masha was feeling way more comfortable using the translator and has been all over it the rest of the evening.  She even asked to go to the store to get some more Shell Mac & Cheese to eat for dinner which is by far the most assertive she has been when asking for anything.  Liz and I did get a kick out of her saying that we eat way to much.  I figured by the size of my waist line she is probably correct.
     The last part of the day I thought we would try another first for Masha, learning to ride a bike.   I keep thinking she will be hesitant when I ask her to do something new, but she jumps up with a huge smile and is ready to go.  It really only took about 1 mile of running next to her until she had it down pretty good.   The smile on her face was priceless, and she continued to practice on her own for about an hour.    We all came in the house for what I thought/hoped for the evening.  I proceeded to take a shower then came to sit down and relax.  As soon as I got to my comfy place she grabs the translator and says she is ready to ride with a smile on her face no dad could refuse.  My thinking was she had done so well we would all go on a family bike ride.  Everything was going pretty well until about mile 2-3 of the bike ride when Keira and Masha wrecked with Keira getting the worst of it.  This is the first time I have seen Masha really upset.   She would only walk the bike home and had teary eyes.   I was worried when we got home that she was hurt, but once we got to the translator she was just very upset she may have hurt Keira.   It was tough getting her calmed down from that.  It took a combined effort from Liz, Keira, and I to convince her everyone was alright and no feelings were hurt.   It was heart warming to see such compassion with her only being here a few days.

     There is so much more to write. I could go on and on about the smallest things, but I am far from a creative enough writer to keep people interested.  I do want to say I am astounded everyday by this little girl that has traveled across the world to a foreign place and is doing her best to fit in.  Her smile, voice, and laugh could melt even the coldest heart.  I have completely gone for praying for us to provide a good experience for her to just praying for her only.  Hopefully she will find a home and the security that every little girl should have.

Pic of 3 Sweaty Little Girls Watching Fireworks

in the Ridiculous Oklahoma Heat