A Long Time Coming

     It has been awhile since I have had the energy to sit down and put words to what is going on in our attempt to get Masha.  Liz has been after me for awhile about giving an update on the process, but it is hard to always write on the negative side of things.  We had several things in the works over the last few months hoping we could get Masha here by this summer, but they are not going to work out.  The other disappointing thing is now that Liz has applied for Masha to be adopted past 16 we can not host her for this summer as the U.S. looks at her as a flight risk.  We really wanted to use this summer hosting to see if she was prepared to do what she needed to do to make a life here, again not possible.  Now we are left with every other night discussions about what we are going to do.  I will admit that it is my faith and drive to continue that has wavered while Liz is staying strong.   I am plagued with multiple questions that as we lose more and more time appear harder for me to answer.   The only thing I am sure of is we can at least give her a better life, and  everyone in the family loves her.  The other questions mostly center around my selfishness and how much it will actually affect my 2 girls.  The problem with those questions is it will take a leap of faith to find the answer.
     So, where are we at right now?  Absolutely nothing can be done until November as she was not registered until Nov. 25th.   We do however have to start the entire process over again as our initial efforts have been flushed down the drain because too much time has elapsed.  So new home studies, medical assessments, and possibly a new I600A dependent on when we would actually travel.  I guess it is good that the only thing we knew for sure going in to this process is it is far from cheap.  Best case scenario is we get her by end of December with a much more realistic timeline being sometime in January or February.   A lot can change in a span of a few months with these kids, so we will sit back, attempt to relax, and see where the journey takes us.   

A Week of Being Mr. Mom

      Last week Liz traveled to Ukraine to file for the extension to adopt Masha past the age of 16.  The paper work is filed and we believe is considered to be accepted at this point.  Initially Liz was going to go to the embassy and back, but we decided that she should at least make a trip to see Masha if she was going to fly all that way.   Liz and her mom left early Saturday morning our time, filed the paperwork early Monday morning in Ukraine, and were then on a train to see Masha Monday afternoon.   They arrived in the town nearest Masha's orphanage late Monday night for some much needed rest.  Tuesday morning they were up and out the door early for a trip to see Masha.  Liz and her mother, Doreen, got to spend most of the next three days with Masha visiting friends and family. The first night, dinner was with Masha's half brother and grandparents that wish very much for her to come here.  Liz made sure to set up a skype account at their house before she left.   The next night Liz got caught up in Ukrainian tradition of toasting drinks at dinner with a family that has known Masha since she was a little girl.  I am pretty sure it was Liz's first ever experience with cognac, and I do not think she kept up very well with the game of Choot Choot.  Masha went back to the orphanage Thursday afternoon, and Liz spent the afternoon with a Canadian Minister (Pastor John) that is doing mission work with the orphanage. There is much more to fill in here, but just not enough time. Liz met with several adoptive families while she was there. There were good stories and stories with not so happy endings.  She got to spend some quality time with the Hanquets, which have adopted one daughter already and were there for another.  Liz really appreciated their hospitality and it made it easier for me to know that there was another family there that was such a big help to Liz.   It was an exhausting, fast, and furious week that I am not sure she has recovered from yet.

     As for me as a single dad.  The weekend started out great.  I filled the days with movies, ice cream, bounce places, dinner with friends, shopping for mom and the girls, and lots of chocolate consumption. Then the week started and my shining reputation as a dad quickly went out the window.  The very first day of real dad responsibility the girls get to school 3 hours late.  I do have a couple of excuses due to snow and a baby sitter being stuck in Amarillo because of weather, but in the end I failed so they get a big fat tardy on the first day of me being Mr. Mom.   The rest of the week went quite a bit more smoothly with Papa doing the lions share of  carting our girls around from activity to activity and even helping out with homework and dinner a couple of days.  Not sure what I would have done with out him that week.  My cousin Jordyn and Liz's sister Leah pitched in a couple of days to help out as well.  Without the help of these three people the week just would not have happened.  I'd would love to say I owned the week and had everything completely organized and put together like I do in my O.R., but that would be a lie.  I pretty much spent from the time I got off work till way after I usually go to bed running around like a chicken with my head cut off.  Everything got done every night, but it was never quite as silky smooth as Liz seems to accomplish it.  I think my  two biggest accomplishment were Liz getting home and not being able to make the regular wife statement, "What have you been doing while I've been gone? The house is a wreck!", and I even got a compliment on how nice the girls looked every day, even their hair.   We picked Liz up late Friday night and you could instantly feel the tension ease in the house with MOM being home.  The girls were instantly happier and I actually slept all night without waking up every hour from thinking I forgot to get something ready.

Liz,

I love you forever

I like you for always

As long as I'm living

My wife you will be

Love,

  Chris.

"When the road ahead seems too long, look back to see how far you’ve come. For, even if the hill before you is steep, the view gives you hope to finish the journey."

     A couple of weeks have gone by since our Masha had to go back to Ukraine, but our quest to get her back continues. Liz leaves middle of February for Ukraine to file the paperwork to try to extend Masha's eligibility to be adopted after she turns 16. Liz will spend a week there by herself with only a slim chance of getting to see Masha. We have heard by traveling there no one gets turned down, but at this point we are not overly optimistic about anything we are told. The mood in our house has been pretty sedate as everyone is in a post hosting funk. My little girls have just about broken my heart with their prayers and discussion about Masha. Listening to my 8 year old, Carley, with tears in her eyes try to comfort Keira is about all I can take. We have had multiple tuck in sessions with teary eyed girls missing what could be their oldest sister. Sometimes I feel we may have exposed them to something way too difficult for them to have to deal with at such a young age. I hope for them that we end up with a Fairytale Ending.

     We did receive news today that Masha was registered Nov. 25th the day before Liz's birthday. Starting in May or June we will start all over with the paperwork we have already done. It took us 4 times last try to get them all right due to poor guidance. Hopefully we get them right the first time this go around. Our plan now is just to press forward like we are going to get her at the end of the year. We hope to get to host her again this summer if possible.

      We are praying that she will make good decisions this next year. I know a lot of life changing choices can be made at 15-16 years old, and we hope our constant contact with her will keep her on the right track.   Liz is probably being the most amazing computer mom a person could have, but there is no way to parent or give real guidance halfway across the world. 

    So for now we wait to see if we get approved to adopt her past 16, hope to get to host her for summer, and pray that we can go get Masha on Liz's Birthday.

"Don't Let the Fear of Striking Out Keep You from Swinging" Babe Ruth

      This is our last day at home with Masha Nicole before we leave tomorrow morning for Dallas and put her back on a plane to the Ukraine.  When we first got news that Masha Nicole was unavailable to adopt Liz and I were paralyzed by the news and could only think the worst.  Even though my optimism has almost been complete drained I am going to go back to what I know best, baseball.  Babe Ruth, an orphan himself, once said, "Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from swinging."  This is the attitude I am going to adopt when it comes to bringing Masha home.  We may still strikeout, but I am going down swinging this time.   The mood in the house today is fairly sedate as everyone prepares for the inevitable departure.  Last night listening to my 7 year old Carley try to comfort my 5 year old Keira about the situation was almost heart breaking.  This was the one time I was thankful Masha could not understand English.   Today we are going to spend the day at home packing and preparing ourselves for what tomorrow holds.
     This last week we did not do much, but try to prepare Masha for what it would be like if she were to come live with us.  We have discussed boundaries, rules, and expectations. (Computer Rules are going to be our biggest obstacle.)  I will not say she was happy with all of them, but was compliant.  Liz set up an appointment at the High School with the ESL teacher here in town, and we got a tour of the new Yukon High School.  I was impressed by the size and the number of students at the school, so I am sure that Masha was completely intimidated.  Just like the previous hosting the last week has been panic mode for her and us.  Masha constantly wants pictures of everyone and everything before she goes back.  Yesterday we were lucky enough to have photographer, Lisa Doan, donate her time in taking some nice professional pictures of our family and Masha that we can send back with her.   I think Masha was more excited about getting pictures taken than any other part of her trip this time.   I am praying that the pictures we send back will keep her hope alive until we get to see her again.

   Thank you everyone that continues to pray and support what we are trying to do.  It is definitely far from the easiest thing we have taken on, and the prayers have to help.

   
     Well here we are in the lat week of hosting and I constantly feel sick at my stomach at the coming good bye.  The last 3 weeks we have seen much more of Masha Nicole than we ever did on her first trip here.   Last hosting it took us about 2 weeks to see her beautiful smile, but this trip I rarely see her without a smile.  The compassion and love she shows for my two daughters melts me as they play together every evening.  She may have even cracked some of my Dad's stone facade he puts up about the situation by telling him she knows he must be a good grandpa by the way my girls love him.  The previous hosting Masha went into panic mode around this time, where this time I feel that it is Liz and I that are grasping for straws.    We felt in our heart she would be a permanent part of our family by Christmas, and now this may be the last time we get to see her.  Unfortunately I have completely lost my optimistic outlook on our situation, but refuse to give up hope and will continue to do what is needed of us until it is an absolute no.  It has been nice this trip to have very honest real conversations with her about everything, but it still does not ease constant tension and feeling of unease that the unknown brings for us all.  I am sure there are others that have gone through the same thing know the roller coaster of emotions between helplessness, anger/sadness, bitterness, and for me down right Rage.

     As far as the hosting goes though it has been all happiness for the most part.   I think all 4 of my girls have burned both end of the candles the entire Holiday period.  There has been baking, ice skating, video gaming, skyping, movies, ice cream, ballet, shopping, shopping, and more shopping.   They have stayed so active we have completely run out of anything to do in Oklahoma this time of year.  The only poor behavior we have seen is typical of any teen, which is boredom.  I am pretty sure this is an incurable disease at this age.  We have had an exponential increase in the amount of English and English lessons this trip without pushing.  Last night Masha ordered her own meal at dinner.  It was completely unhealthy, but she ordered it herself.  We have almost cured the wearing the same clothing everyday other than this hideous turtleneck she says she has to wear to cover her neck.  Liz takes it every evening to wash it and hides it for the day so she has to wear something different.  My absolute favorite about this trip is the amount of laughter.  Masha's laugh is hilarious and borders on Eddie Murphy type funny.   Every time she starts laughing I can not help but laugh and before you know my 2 girls are laying on the floor laughing.   Nothing but good things about hosting again this trip.  It is good for the heart as long as you can handle the good bye.  If only the Adoption part of this could go as well.

A Comforting Reunion

      The first week of winter hosting is in the books. I will have to say it has been very comforting to have Masha back in our house. Maybe the best sleep Liz and I have gotten since she left. Despite the massive language barrier she just seems to fit, looks and personality. Airport pick up was way less stressful this year as we were met with huge hugs. Masha did not release her hug on me until her baggage came around to be picked up. The first week has been busy as we told her to bring absolutely nothing so we could fit more with her to send back. She brought nothing! Wednesday and Thursday were spent clothes shopping, she picked up right where she left off being very picky. We did manage to get 3 pairs of jeans, sweat shirts, and yes a dress (More on that later). Carley and Keira instantly took up were they left off with Masha and have not left her side. The best part is Masha enjoys them and has yet to be annoyed by the over stimulation. Masha is very good at making sure she gives each equal attention. She is just as sweet as the last time we hosted her. I really felt we may have somewhat of a different experience since she would already be comfortable with us. I guess realistically I am waiting for the I am not sure what to do moment. Hopefully we never have it during hosting.

     Friday and Sunday were all about the girls in my house events. Friday night Liz hosted a mother daughter ornament exchange. This was a bit too much for Masha as she did not want to come out of her room. Although I can not imagine why with 30 women and children probably talking about her and she has no idea what they are saying. With a little coaxing from Liz she came downstairs for the exchange game. This is the first time we have had to make her do anything, and she handled it well. The second event was the Nutcracker Ballet. The question here is, would we get Masha in a dress? The answer is after Liz using her mom voice she complied, and before I knew it I had 4 beautiful girls standing in front of me in the living room for pictures. Masha had never been to a ballet, and loved it. I even managed to stay awake through the whole thing. It was good to know we did not use up all the first experiences on the first trip.

     Overall our second hosting experience is just as much of a blessing if not more. It has confirmed to us that we have made the right decision to continue forward even if the results do not end up what we would like them to be. It still continues to be a roller coaster as we find more occasions where our agency and facilitator have dropped the ball. We have even found out that official paperwork could have been filed back during our initial hosting that would have given us her status long ago legally. I am still trying to figure out why we were not given this option in the beginning even if it took 8-12 weeks.  We also find ourselves trying not to have a bitter feeling about how the entire process went down.  The next three weeks are going be all about making the best out of the time we get.   Hopefully a Christmas miracle will happen, and we can figure something out soon.

A Bitter/Sweet Visit

     I have not been very good at keeping up our blog lately as we have not really received much in the way of positive news when it comes to Masha Nicole.  I did not start this blog to sound critical, bitter, or extremely negative, but looking at my last several entries that is exactly what it looks like.  I would love to take back the last few entries, but every feeling, frustration, or injustice is absolutely true.  I want it to be out there so people know not to expect a nice perfectly smooth process.  This is the one time in life where I would expect the worst and hope for the best. 
     Now for the good news and what this blog was created for.  Masha will be here tomorrow night at 11pm, and we get her for 4 weeks before we have to send her back again.   We are going to try to only focus on the positives while she is here even though a few days I am sure we will end up with some sobbing.  Masha has been texting us all day with her Ukraine version of Yippie I think, so we know she is as pumped as we are.  After we pick her up we have given her the option to stay in a hotel or head straight back to Oklahoma, which will be a 3 hour drive.  She wants to head straight home so she can see the girls first thing when they woke up in the morning.  I am pretty much sure the drive will consist of Masha and Liz sleeping while I drive.   Even though they will be sleeping I think it will bring a level of comfort I have not had since she left.    
     This is a very bitter/sweet visit at the same time though.  We still very much want to bring Masha in as part of our family, and I believe she wants it even more so.  She has almost been in panic mode as of late because her best friend is currently being adopted out of the orphanage right now, and we were suppose to be there at the same time getting Masha.  We actually even received travel dates for next week to go, but she is not available.  I know at some point we will have to broach this topic while she is here, and it is going to be extremely difficult.  I have been praying that the right things to say will come to me, because right now I have nothing.   Best case scenario is we can get her next November with a more realistic time being right before her 17th birthday in March.  That is if the Ministry of Magic actually got her in the system.  We have made the decision to ride this out as long as the road will take us and then some to get Masha here.  We just hope and pray when we get to the end of the road we end up with happy addition to our family, Masha Nicole.