Faith allows things to happen. It is the power that comes from a fearless heart. And when a fearless heart believes, miracles happen.

    I start with a Faith quote, because that is what brought us here today.  Two weeks before our first trip to Ukraine Liz and I were broken and ready to call it all off.  We finally got the strength to sit our girls down and discuss that we were going to give up our attempts to get Masha.  There were tears and disbelief that we would give up.  (We preach daily to never give up regardless of the reason) Carley at the end of the conversation said she would pray and we would be going to see Masha for Christmas.  I assured her it was over and final even after her comment.  She looked at me as serious as Carley can be, and she told me she was still going to pray and we would be seeing Masha for Christmas.  Her faith even then rattled me as it was so confident, and I was afraid that she would be crushed when we did not proceed.  The next week she spent every night praying at bedtime that we would get Masha on Christmas.  Then somehow everything that was in disarray just seemed to right itself, so Liz and I took off on our first trip to Ukraine that you have already read about.  After returning all we had to do is bid our time for the court date to go back.  A week and a half later we get our court date of December 26th, but we picked Masha up on Christmas Day and have had her since.  I have no doubt the events unfolded like they did because of one 8 year old's childlike powerful faith.
     Today was court day.  The start of the day was filled with mixed emotions; nervousness, doubt, happiness, fear of sadness, and under all that shear excitement for what could be.  Court consisted of two jurors, judge, prosecuting attorney, ophanage representative, our translator, Masha, and our family.  Normal questions were asked of us that one would expect when adopting.  I could elaborate so much more, but this would become a novel.  Then it was Masha's turn, and our turn to fight back tears with her answer.  She described our family as something out of her dreams that she did not even know could actually exist.  Masha's words for Liz and my girls did bring me to the brink of tears, and I think I would have lost it if  they continued with the current line of questioning.  Finally they got to the real question, "Do you Masha, want to be Masha Nicole Atchley forever?"  Her answer was an immediate yes without hesitation, however just like us I can see the fear of the unknown in her eyes.  We have discussed each one of those fears, but she has never known the unconditional love of a family that will not abandon her.  She is about to embark on a great adventure into the unknown with people that say they love her, but in essence know very little of her.  I like to again think of it as an incredible leap of Faith though I know there are many factors in her decision.   The sense I get from her today is she is happy for what lies ahead of her, but scared to leave everything she has ever known behind.


PS. I will add the adventurers of 3 days of traveling with two little ones on a future blog.  Let's put it this way if travel could be worse I don't know how.  The girls never once moaned groaned no matter how bad it got.

Day 3 & 4 Reunited

     Day 3 in Ukraine we thought would be a complete waste because we had to wait on permission to travel to Masha's region until late in the evening.  We could not have been more wrong.  Nastya our facilitator sent us a guide to give us a tour of Kiev.  This young lady, Masha, gave us an incredible tour of the city with an in depth account of the 1500 year history of  Kiev, Ukraine.  Usually I am not a big history buff, but she held both of our attentions throughout the day.  The highlight of the tour was the Catacombs at the Kiev Monastary. Walking through the caves with the caskets and the religious symbols was very Indiana Jonesish.   The tour was soon over and we were on to what we heard was the dreaded train ride to Masha.   I thought every one was crazy at first, because the cabin was not bad, I didn't mind the loud rocking of the train, and I've been in worse bathrooms at football games.  Then two hours into the ride I was awaken by sauna like temperatures in our cabin.   There was absolutely no way to turn it down or off, so the temp just kept rising.  We resorted to opening the cabin door just to be met by more heat. I'm pretty sure it was almost hot enough to crack an egg and cook it on the floor.  Liz and I rode in complete misery for the next 7 hours.  I will now agree with everyone the train is just flat awful.
     Day 4 was the day we finally got to see Masha.  The reunion could not have gone better.  We got big smiles and huge hugs.  The director got right to business asking Masha if she was ready to sign her letter of intent.  There was no hesitation in her answer of да.  We then spent the rest of the morning at the orphanage while the facilitator started all the paperwork, and the afternoon running around the small town getting more signatures, copies, and notaries.  Masha got to spend the entire day with us while we did the paperwork, but it really ate into the quality time we got to spend with her.  Unfortunately our time was short with her and we had to board a different more comfortable train back to Kiev to make our flight home.  We are currently sitting in the Kiev airport getting ready to start our journey home.   We are praying that we have the shortest waiting period for our court date, so that we can bring the girls with us.   Things are looking good right now as our facilitator was able to get every signature he needed in one day, which usually takes 3-4.  He will submit our paperwork the first of next week then it will just be waiting for the court date to come.  Following that court appearance Masha officially becomes our daughter.

Day 2 Ministry of Magic Appointment.

     Day 2, appointment day, or first of 3 D days.  Today is the first day we actually accomplished something for real.  We met with the State Department of Adoption/SDA/Ministry of Magic.  This is where you set down with Ukraine officials select Masha, tell a little about yourself, and hear Masha's psychosocial and physical status.  I will have to say Liz quite impressed me with her Russian as she answered questions directly to the lady helping us without the translator.  I think it also put the official at ease because at first she appeared uptight and tense.  That seemed to change with a little effort from Liz to speak the language.  We also had to present a photo album, which they looked through every page and asked many questions.  After the interrogation we were told to come back the next day for approval to go down to see Masha.  Not sure why it takes a whole day, but it looks like we will finally see Masha on Friday after being here the entire week.  Tomorrow we will go on a 10-12 hour train ride to see our girl.
     Riding our high from a successful appointment Liz and I set out on foot around Kiev.  We probably covered a solid 10 miles of walking.  This place is truly a shopping girls paradise.  I thank God we only have so much room in our suit cases, because I think Liz has seen a million pairs of boots she would buy.  We ended up again eating something not very adventurous and settled on Pizza.  We did however eat dessert at a coffe shop and had some nice coffee and cheesecake.   I was feeling pretty good following the coffee and really tried to get Liz to head to a club and go dancing, but was completely unsuccessful.  She was worried how it would be perceived.   I was thinking it would be a good way to experience more of the culture myself.  Instead we came back to the apartment, she put on her flannel pajamas, watched it pour down snow, and now we are going to sleep.

Ukraine Day 1

     Day 1 pretty uneventful .   The only thing we did was stop by the grocery store, which was not much different than at home other than you have to lock up backpacks before you shop and the swap meet like shops you walk through to get to the groceries.  The people and driving remind me a lot like  New York, lots of pushing in baggage claim, no use of excuse me, and tons of honking in traffic with crossing more lanes than a person should at once.  Liz even stated she needed to put her New York hat back on, and the airport instantly reminded me of her friend Shannon throwing people out her way to get my bags when she picked me up 15 years ago.  After the grocery store we headed back to the apartment  which is very nice inside, the exterior reminds me of something right out of the movies or Rocky V.      I am very boring when it comes to trying new food so we went to TGIFs for some very American cuisine.  When dinner was finished we went for a short walk around the streets of Kiev.  I noticed Liz blended in very well and I stick out pretty noticeably as I got lots of stares at dinner and walking down the street.   Guess I'll attempt to wear a stocking cap and Johnny Cash type attire the rest of the trip.  Back at the apartment we pretty much crashed after a rather brutal day of travel.  We slept for a couple of hours, woke up to talk to the girls via Skype, and then back to bed.
      Wednesday is a pretty big day as we have our meeting with the ministry of magic to get our ok to go see Masha.  After the meeting we plan to get our adventurer hats on and explore the city some since we can not leave to Masha's region until the following day.  More to come as the 2 year quest to bring Masha home continues.

There is No Certainty; there is only Adventure!

    So it is officially official, we have our dates to fly to Ukraine and meet with the ministry of magic.  Liz and I will leave Monday, have our meeting on Wednesday, then travel immediately from there to Masha's orphanage to have her write the letter of intent.  This ridiculous roller coaster ride of uncertainty is about to come to a finite end in the next 6-8 weeks.   I think in the last 2 months we have been to both extremes on our decision to continue, but when it comes down to it there is a little girl that we have had in our house for 10 weeks that we all fell in Love with.   Our real adventure starts next week as we work to permanently make Masha a part of our family.  Liz and I both know that there is no certainty on how things will go once we bring her home, but we hope with our love and guidance we can help her to change her stars.  We know there are some that will think we are crazy, some that will not understand, and others that flat just do not agree with what we are doing, but we hope that those that feel that way can find in their heart to be supportive as getting her home will just be the beginning of the journey. 

A Very Short Update

     A quick word on where we are at right now.  All our paperwork has been submitted.  We actually received a travel date to Ukraine, but it is 2 weeks before Masha is available.  Since Masha isn't available to adopt until November 28th we had to turn down the date and request another.  The issue with having to turn down the date is we are only allowed 3 appointment dates.  If the next date doesn't fit in the appropriate time frame we will be out of luck.  Right now we are taking it one day at a time not getting our hopes up too much.  Not one thing has gone as planned to date, so no reason to expect it will in the future.

Round 2 "Ding Ding"

     Round 2 is now officially in the works.  Liz  has ran all over the place completing all of our paperwork hopefully for the last time.  The documents have been signed, apostilled, sealed, and delivered.  We just pray they are correct the first time this go around.  I have learned that nothing is official or set in stone in this process, but tentative travel dates will be traveling the first week of December, the week of Christmas, and sometime after the first of the year.  The third trip will bring Masha home permanently if everything goes as planned.  All we can do now is sit on our hands, wait, and see how it turns out as everything again is completely out of our control from this point forward.

 All the Papers to be Apostilled

     On a positive note we have been in constant contact with Masha over the last few months and talk to her almost daily.   We have had multiple conversations on her desire to come and her answer is always an emphatic, Yes.  Liz calls and actually talks to her, which is quite impressive at times, while I am lazy and just send text messages through the translator over the phone.  Masha has been very sweet and asks mostly about Carley and Keira.  We have even discussed changing her name when she comes home and have settled on Masha Nicole.  She wanted to change her whole name, but the girls put a big guilt trip on her as she will always be Masha to them so Masha Nicole it will be.  The next few months should be anything, but boring in our house as things in this process always seems to be in flux.   We are setting around 120 days until the first of December so let the countdown begin and pray for the Happy Ending that should have happened in Round 1.

A Long Time Coming

     It has been awhile since I have had the energy to sit down and put words to what is going on in our attempt to get Masha.  Liz has been after me for awhile about giving an update on the process, but it is hard to always write on the negative side of things.  We had several things in the works over the last few months hoping we could get Masha here by this summer, but they are not going to work out.  The other disappointing thing is now that Liz has applied for Masha to be adopted past 16 we can not host her for this summer as the U.S. looks at her as a flight risk.  We really wanted to use this summer hosting to see if she was prepared to do what she needed to do to make a life here, again not possible.  Now we are left with every other night discussions about what we are going to do.  I will admit that it is my faith and drive to continue that has wavered while Liz is staying strong.   I am plagued with multiple questions that as we lose more and more time appear harder for me to answer.   The only thing I am sure of is we can at least give her a better life, and  everyone in the family loves her.  The other questions mostly center around my selfishness and how much it will actually affect my 2 girls.  The problem with those questions is it will take a leap of faith to find the answer.
     So, where are we at right now?  Absolutely nothing can be done until November as she was not registered until Nov. 25th.   We do however have to start the entire process over again as our initial efforts have been flushed down the drain because too much time has elapsed.  So new home studies, medical assessments, and possibly a new I600A dependent on when we would actually travel.  I guess it is good that the only thing we knew for sure going in to this process is it is far from cheap.  Best case scenario is we get her by end of December with a much more realistic timeline being sometime in January or February.   A lot can change in a span of a few months with these kids, so we will sit back, attempt to relax, and see where the journey takes us.   

A Week of Being Mr. Mom

      Last week Liz traveled to Ukraine to file for the extension to adopt Masha past the age of 16.  The paper work is filed and we believe is considered to be accepted at this point.  Initially Liz was going to go to the embassy and back, but we decided that she should at least make a trip to see Masha if she was going to fly all that way.   Liz and her mom left early Saturday morning our time, filed the paperwork early Monday morning in Ukraine, and were then on a train to see Masha Monday afternoon.   They arrived in the town nearest Masha's orphanage late Monday night for some much needed rest.  Tuesday morning they were up and out the door early for a trip to see Masha.  Liz and her mother, Doreen, got to spend most of the next three days with Masha visiting friends and family. The first night, dinner was with Masha's half brother and grandparents that wish very much for her to come here.  Liz made sure to set up a skype account at their house before she left.   The next night Liz got caught up in Ukrainian tradition of toasting drinks at dinner with a family that has known Masha since she was a little girl.  I am pretty sure it was Liz's first ever experience with cognac, and I do not think she kept up very well with the game of Choot Choot.  Masha went back to the orphanage Thursday afternoon, and Liz spent the afternoon with a Canadian Minister (Pastor John) that is doing mission work with the orphanage. There is much more to fill in here, but just not enough time. Liz met with several adoptive families while she was there. There were good stories and stories with not so happy endings.  She got to spend some quality time with the Hanquets, which have adopted one daughter already and were there for another.  Liz really appreciated their hospitality and it made it easier for me to know that there was another family there that was such a big help to Liz.   It was an exhausting, fast, and furious week that I am not sure she has recovered from yet.

     As for me as a single dad.  The weekend started out great.  I filled the days with movies, ice cream, bounce places, dinner with friends, shopping for mom and the girls, and lots of chocolate consumption. Then the week started and my shining reputation as a dad quickly went out the window.  The very first day of real dad responsibility the girls get to school 3 hours late.  I do have a couple of excuses due to snow and a baby sitter being stuck in Amarillo because of weather, but in the end I failed so they get a big fat tardy on the first day of me being Mr. Mom.   The rest of the week went quite a bit more smoothly with Papa doing the lions share of  carting our girls around from activity to activity and even helping out with homework and dinner a couple of days.  Not sure what I would have done with out him that week.  My cousin Jordyn and Liz's sister Leah pitched in a couple of days to help out as well.  Without the help of these three people the week just would not have happened.  I'd would love to say I owned the week and had everything completely organized and put together like I do in my O.R., but that would be a lie.  I pretty much spent from the time I got off work till way after I usually go to bed running around like a chicken with my head cut off.  Everything got done every night, but it was never quite as silky smooth as Liz seems to accomplish it.  I think my  two biggest accomplishment were Liz getting home and not being able to make the regular wife statement, "What have you been doing while I've been gone? The house is a wreck!", and I even got a compliment on how nice the girls looked every day, even their hair.   We picked Liz up late Friday night and you could instantly feel the tension ease in the house with MOM being home.  The girls were instantly happier and I actually slept all night without waking up every hour from thinking I forgot to get something ready.

Liz,

I love you forever

I like you for always

As long as I'm living

My wife you will be

Love,

  Chris.

"When the road ahead seems too long, look back to see how far you’ve come. For, even if the hill before you is steep, the view gives you hope to finish the journey."

     A couple of weeks have gone by since our Masha had to go back to Ukraine, but our quest to get her back continues. Liz leaves middle of February for Ukraine to file the paperwork to try to extend Masha's eligibility to be adopted after she turns 16. Liz will spend a week there by herself with only a slim chance of getting to see Masha. We have heard by traveling there no one gets turned down, but at this point we are not overly optimistic about anything we are told. The mood in our house has been pretty sedate as everyone is in a post hosting funk. My little girls have just about broken my heart with their prayers and discussion about Masha. Listening to my 8 year old, Carley, with tears in her eyes try to comfort Keira is about all I can take. We have had multiple tuck in sessions with teary eyed girls missing what could be their oldest sister. Sometimes I feel we may have exposed them to something way too difficult for them to have to deal with at such a young age. I hope for them that we end up with a Fairytale Ending.

     We did receive news today that Masha was registered Nov. 25th the day before Liz's birthday. Starting in May or June we will start all over with the paperwork we have already done. It took us 4 times last try to get them all right due to poor guidance. Hopefully we get them right the first time this go around. Our plan now is just to press forward like we are going to get her at the end of the year. We hope to get to host her again this summer if possible.

      We are praying that she will make good decisions this next year. I know a lot of life changing choices can be made at 15-16 years old, and we hope our constant contact with her will keep her on the right track.   Liz is probably being the most amazing computer mom a person could have, but there is no way to parent or give real guidance halfway across the world. 

    So for now we wait to see if we get approved to adopt her past 16, hope to get to host her for summer, and pray that we can go get Masha on Liz's Birthday.

"Don't Let the Fear of Striking Out Keep You from Swinging" Babe Ruth

      This is our last day at home with Masha Nicole before we leave tomorrow morning for Dallas and put her back on a plane to the Ukraine.  When we first got news that Masha Nicole was unavailable to adopt Liz and I were paralyzed by the news and could only think the worst.  Even though my optimism has almost been complete drained I am going to go back to what I know best, baseball.  Babe Ruth, an orphan himself, once said, "Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from swinging."  This is the attitude I am going to adopt when it comes to bringing Masha home.  We may still strikeout, but I am going down swinging this time.   The mood in the house today is fairly sedate as everyone prepares for the inevitable departure.  Last night listening to my 7 year old Carley try to comfort my 5 year old Keira about the situation was almost heart breaking.  This was the one time I was thankful Masha could not understand English.   Today we are going to spend the day at home packing and preparing ourselves for what tomorrow holds.
     This last week we did not do much, but try to prepare Masha for what it would be like if she were to come live with us.  We have discussed boundaries, rules, and expectations. (Computer Rules are going to be our biggest obstacle.)  I will not say she was happy with all of them, but was compliant.  Liz set up an appointment at the High School with the ESL teacher here in town, and we got a tour of the new Yukon High School.  I was impressed by the size and the number of students at the school, so I am sure that Masha was completely intimidated.  Just like the previous hosting the last week has been panic mode for her and us.  Masha constantly wants pictures of everyone and everything before she goes back.  Yesterday we were lucky enough to have photographer, Lisa Doan, donate her time in taking some nice professional pictures of our family and Masha that we can send back with her.   I think Masha was more excited about getting pictures taken than any other part of her trip this time.   I am praying that the pictures we send back will keep her hope alive until we get to see her again.

   Thank you everyone that continues to pray and support what we are trying to do.  It is definitely far from the easiest thing we have taken on, and the prayers have to help.

   
     Well here we are in the lat week of hosting and I constantly feel sick at my stomach at the coming good bye.  The last 3 weeks we have seen much more of Masha Nicole than we ever did on her first trip here.   Last hosting it took us about 2 weeks to see her beautiful smile, but this trip I rarely see her without a smile.  The compassion and love she shows for my two daughters melts me as they play together every evening.  She may have even cracked some of my Dad's stone facade he puts up about the situation by telling him she knows he must be a good grandpa by the way my girls love him.  The previous hosting Masha went into panic mode around this time, where this time I feel that it is Liz and I that are grasping for straws.    We felt in our heart she would be a permanent part of our family by Christmas, and now this may be the last time we get to see her.  Unfortunately I have completely lost my optimistic outlook on our situation, but refuse to give up hope and will continue to do what is needed of us until it is an absolute no.  It has been nice this trip to have very honest real conversations with her about everything, but it still does not ease constant tension and feeling of unease that the unknown brings for us all.  I am sure there are others that have gone through the same thing know the roller coaster of emotions between helplessness, anger/sadness, bitterness, and for me down right Rage.

     As far as the hosting goes though it has been all happiness for the most part.   I think all 4 of my girls have burned both end of the candles the entire Holiday period.  There has been baking, ice skating, video gaming, skyping, movies, ice cream, ballet, shopping, shopping, and more shopping.   They have stayed so active we have completely run out of anything to do in Oklahoma this time of year.  The only poor behavior we have seen is typical of any teen, which is boredom.  I am pretty sure this is an incurable disease at this age.  We have had an exponential increase in the amount of English and English lessons this trip without pushing.  Last night Masha ordered her own meal at dinner.  It was completely unhealthy, but she ordered it herself.  We have almost cured the wearing the same clothing everyday other than this hideous turtleneck she says she has to wear to cover her neck.  Liz takes it every evening to wash it and hides it for the day so she has to wear something different.  My absolute favorite about this trip is the amount of laughter.  Masha's laugh is hilarious and borders on Eddie Murphy type funny.   Every time she starts laughing I can not help but laugh and before you know my 2 girls are laying on the floor laughing.   Nothing but good things about hosting again this trip.  It is good for the heart as long as you can handle the good bye.  If only the Adoption part of this could go as well.